Reminisence
by heeros-gurl1
Summary: A compelling fic about Trowa and his myterious past. What do the nightmeres mean? And why do the visions come at the wrong times? What does Cathrine have to do with it? What will hapen when Trowa meets up with man that tore his life apart? (IN CHARACTER)
1. Mission Accepted

Disclaimer : Hey! Britt Here!! ^.^ This is a Trowa/Varidia Fic. I wrote for a friend who doesnt like yaoi...mind you, if you have read my other fanficiton, you'll know that Im the opposite, lol 1x2 and 3x4 ALL THE WAY ^^. I've gotten SO many compliments on it. It's a bit gorey when it comes to a certain point. But hey! It wouldn't be an action fic if there wasn't blood. Oh! And I do not own gundam wing, or their characters...cuz if I did I would be rich....so that means that I don't. Im just a DIE HARD FAN that happens to be a writer! This is a L-O-N-G fic. LOL 15 chapters and counting!  
  
**Oh and another thing : Tiara is Quatre's Girlfriend. My friend made her up, beacuse she really likes Quatre and so she created a character for him. Tiara Valintine is very much like Quatre, in all ways. Except shes very outgoing. She hads blond hair, to her sholders.  
  
**Varidia Jarlaya. I made her up for Trowa (for my friend...lol), although I know that he does make a good couple wioth Qautre. Varidia has black hair and blue eyes. Her hair is like Lt. Noins. She very sporty and outgoing. But shes shy when it comes to the person that she likes.  
  
[( )] = This tells you whats going on in a flash back and what the person is seeing.  
  
' ' = This is when someone is thinking.  
  
BTW!! I HAD ALL 15 CHAPTERS UP, BUT I DECIDED TO JUST PUT UP FOUR AND WITH MORE REVIEWS I'LL UPDATE! :D  
  
REMINISENCE  
  
Epolauge:  
  
Everything was dark, pitch black around him, as a single light spread upon him. Eyes, cold, soulless eyes, stared back at him. No, not at him, but through him, as if he wasn't even there. It was cold, the air bringing a chill to his skin. He couldn't stop shivering, as the fear seemed to envelope every bit of him. But he showed no signs breaking. The small figure that lay infront stepped back as he merged with the darkness.  
  
Alone, stood the nameless soldier. To his left the small figure was tied, no chained to a wooden chair, feet barely touching the ground. The small boy was alone, scared. Suddenly a room appeared where the boy was. A cold, dark room, with stone slates as it's foundation. Trowa saw the fear in the small boys eyes, but could do nothing. He couldn't move, frozen to the ground as if there was an invisible sheet of ice beneath him. He turned his head toward the small boy. A large man, with an old Oz uniform on, steadily treaded toward the chained boy. His hair a greasy black and his eyes, cold.  
  
A smirk appeared on the man's face, "Where is she?" the man said in an ugly tone. "Well boy?" the small boy turned his head. Trowa watched helplessly as the man rose his fist and striked the small boys face. The boy winced at the pain but did not once yell out. Blood splattered onto the floor beside him.  
  
The blood ran down the boys lip, as he held in the pain. The boy smirked as the mans fist rose again and hit the boy's head repetively, blood now spilt all over the floor. The boys cries of pain yelled out. They almost seemed to echo, the sounds seemed to cut Trowa like a knife, his pupils narrowed and his breathing increased.  
  
Trowa rose his hand toward his face, he felt a thick liquid upon his untouched skin. He slowly removed his hands from his face and glared at the blood that had covered his hand. "What?" he whispered  
  
Trowa woke up. He lifted his uncovered front half, sweat beading off every part of his body. It poured from his forehead, and caressed the right side of his face, and dripped off onto the satin sheets. His breathing was heavy as his chest rose up and down in an attempt to calm himself.  
  
He then tossed the sweat dampened sheets away from him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. As he stood, he glanced to the other side of the room. Trowa shook his head, pulling his mind away from his thoughts of his nightmare, and what they had ment. But this was not just any dream. For he knew that they were of his past, and maybe thats why his memories never returned. They were to painful. He crossed the room, and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, quietly.  
  
He closed his eyes as he flicked the light on, knowing that the sudden brightness would sting. As he opened his eyes again, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His usual mask of emotionless peered back at him. His eyes seemed even colder, the grim expression of a man that hated what he had become, what he had been through. His safire green eyes reflected the intense pain that he always kept hidden.  
  
' This is why I became who I am, to take revenge on those- ' Trowa thought to himself as his remaining thoughts seemed to disappear from his head.  
  
He turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face. Then he turned the water off. As he stood up straight, he glanced at his reflection again, ' Why can't I remember?' He wondered why he hadn't been killed in battle or why he hadn't taken his own life long ago. The answer came to him quickly, Catherine. Catherine was the reason. He didn't know why but he had to protect her.  
  
Trowa left the bathroom, shutting the light off as he passed by the switch. He climbed back into bed, not bothering to pull the sheets over him again. He sighed as he lay back, trying to remember his past.  
  
Chapter 1 : Mission Accepted  
  
Trowa sat at a table in Quatre's dinning room, alone. He was staring at the bare table infront of him. He was lost in thought, his mind occupied by the memories that plagued his every waking moment.  
  
The memories were always there, the dreams, the sudden flashes that intruded on him at just the wrong moments. He never knew what would set off one of his memories. A scent, a phrase. Anything could cause a memory to emerge from his mind.  
  
"You ok Trowa?" asked Varidia, who was standing in the door way. Her smile was that of an angel and her hair the color or ebony. She took a step forward and took a seat at the end opposite to Trowa. Her small white hoodie fit nicely on her as did her black shorts. The sun illuminated the sky and the rays shot down through the windows and upon her soft ivory skin. Trowa looked up, and looked at her with the same cold expression. "Im fine." "You just looked distracted. Where you thinking of something?" she asked as her baby blue eyes danced in the rays. He said nothing and glanced toward the table once again.  
  
But Varidia knew better, she knew that something was wrong. Because she knows the old Trowa, and he just seemed to be more tense. "Aw Come on Trowa, I see that something is bothering you, maybe if you tell me - I might be able to help."  
  
Trowa quickly glanced at her and rose himself up and walked out of the room. Varidia watched as Trowa left, wondering what was troubling her friend.  
  
Trowa was lying on his bed, just staring up at the ceiling, his arms laying by his sides. He was dressed in his usual black sweatshirt and jeans. He thought about the nightmares, hoping something would return to him.  
  
He shut his eyes and thought hard to himself. Nothing. Heero knocked on the door and walked into the room. "Hey, come on." He said. Trowa sat up, opening his eyes as he moved.  
  
"We have a mission." Heero said, not even looking in Trowa's general direction.  
  
Trowa silently followed Heero behind him. He let the thoughts vanish from his mind. He went to the base of Heavyarms and rose himself up into it. He strapped himself in and stared straight. Heero and Quatre came beside Heavyarms in Zero and Sandrock.  
  
"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." Trowa scanned to his left screen where Heero's face appeared in the tiny window screen. " We have to Destroy a military base in the JAEP Area of point D. "  
  
Duo popped up beside Heero on the screen. "And that shouldn't be a problem for the God of Death. Lets bring them with us to Hell!!" he shouted and then disapeared from the screen. Trowa just listened, but didn't bother to say anything. They proceed out.  
  
They were sent to destroy a military base that had recently become a threat. Unfortunately, the reports about the number of mobile suits and mobile dolls had been drastically underestimated. Heero was slicing away at the enemy mobile suits in his Zero Gundam with his beam sabers, making it look so easy. Duo was just trying to keep himself alive with his beam scythe, as the enemy just kept coming and coming. Quatre just used the large blades to crush the enemy mobile dolls.  
  
"Would you just detonate already?!" Duo yelled at Heero, as he dodged an attack that had come way too close for comfort.  
  
"Hn." Heero replied over the communication system.  
  
A moment later, the surrounding area was engulfed in flames, as all the explosives they had planted in the base earlier, were detonated. Many of the mobile suits and dolls were destroyed in the explosion but not all of them. The ones that remained continued to fight, even though the base was totally destroyed.  
  
"Let's get out of here." Trowa said, his voice calm. "I'm almost out of ammo and we will need to refuel."  
  
"Split up. We'll meet back at the mansion." Heero replied.  
  
Duo and Quatre took off, leaving as quickly as he could. Several mobile suits followed him. Meanwhile, Trowa and Heero were attempting a similar escape.  
  
Heero cut a path through the mobile suits and dolls. Trowa watched his back, making sure no one tried to stop him. Trowa fired as the left side of Heavyarms spit out nothing, only the spinning gun. He pressed a button inside Heavyarms and dropped the left arm off and it hit the ground and he then pressed another button and it opened up all the other guns that were hidden on his gundam. Soon they were empty as well. "Im out." he said calmly once again. Suddenly a pain ruptured through his head and he grabbed his head imbedding his hand with his hair. A flash of white light appeared, then everything turned black as a single gun was pointed straight at him. He tried to move but again he was frozen, the gun defaced him and shot at a figure that stood beside him. Blood covered her chest as she grasped it and fell to her knees, the pain struck through him as the face entered the light.  
  
"Ca-Catherine - " Trowas eyes narrowed. Catherine looked up at him, as the blood surrounded her soft brown hair.  
  
" Why am I seeing this!" He grabbed his head. Suddenly the black filled in with the cockpit of his gundam.  
  
Something collided with his back and The Heavyarms fell forward. Intense pain radiated throughout his lower chest as Trowa hit the console in front of him. He groaned in pain, not letting himself cry out. As he got his Gundam to stand again, he lifted his hand to his forehead, and felt the warm red blood that was seeping from a fresh wound.  
  
"Beep, beep" Trowa looked to the left of his screen. Heero appeared. "You ok?" he asked in his same mono tone voice.  
  
"Fine." said Trowa. He lied as he knew he only had some bruising. "We need a diversion. There's too many mobile dolls."  
  
"Right." said Trowa. He pulled out a detonation switch from his pocket and pressed the button. A series of explosions shook the ground, as everything behind the two Gundams was swallowed by flames. Heero and Trowa quickly disposed of the remaining few mobile suits and dolls.  
  
After they demolished the remaining suits Heero asked, "When did you set those?"  
  
"While you and Duo were off planting the ones in the base, I was out here planting a few of my own. " Trowa replied.  
  
Chaper 1 1/2 : Lifeless  
  
They hid their Gundams in the forest where no one could see them. Trowa kept close behind Heero as his wounds were bad but he didn't want Heero to find out.  
  
"The Gundams will be safe there." Heero said as he kept on walking. Trowa said nothing and just proceeded to walk. Blood had trickled down his neck and upon his black shirt. It wasn't the injuries that hurt, but it was the blood loss that was making him weak.  
  
"Quatre and the others should be at the safe house by now." Heero's voice was still cold. Trowa still proceeded and said nothing, but he was begining to feel a bit dizzy.  
  
About a half an hour later, Trowa's body was weak from the blood loss. It was hard trying to keep up with Heero's fast pace. He had been lucky so far, keeping the other pilot from seeing that he was injured. Whenever Heero turned to him, he looked down so that Trowa wouldn't be able to see the blood that covered the side of his face.  
  
The pain in his chest was throbbing with every step he took. His pace had slowed down. It was getting harder and harder to walk, as he felt so tired.  
  
Finally, he just collapsed, no longer caring whether Heero saw or not. He just couldn't take another step. He fell to his side, wrapping his arms around himself as he was now begining to feel the pain.  
  
"Trowa?" Heero said as he knelt beside him.  
  
But Trowa didn't answer, couldn't answer. Then everything slipped away as he lost consciousness. 


	2. Feelings

Chapter 2 : Feelings  
  
Heero knelt next to Trowa, wondering why he hadn't noticed this earlier. The other pilot was hurt, badly by the look of it. He watched as Trowa slipped into unconsciousness, not able to do anything to keep him awake.  
  
Carefully, Heero rolled Trowa over onto his back. The head wound looked bad as the blood almost was seeming to pour from it.  
  
' What could have made Trowa become to carless?" Heero thought. He then rose up Trowa's large black sweatshirt, checking to see where the pilot was hurt. He gently pressed on his chest and abdomen, looking for internal injuries, eliciting a groan from Trowa, with every touch to the pilot's body. He was shocked to find that three of his ribs were broken.  
  
Heero pulled Trowa's shirt down and lifted the unconscious pilot off the ground. He would have slung Trowa over his shoulder, but he didn't want to risk makeing his injuries even worse. Trowa groaned, but Heero ignored it, knowing he had to get Trowa some medical attention. And the only place he could find help, would be at the mansion.  
  
It didn't take long to get there, even with the extra burden of carrying Trowa. As soon as he walked in the door, Heero noticed that the place was empty. It didn't look as if Quatre and Duo had gotten there yet.  
  
He took Trowa up to one of the bedrooms of the mainsion and gently laid him down on a bed. Then he treated his injuries. After bandaging his head and chest, Heero sat back. A gasp was heard. Heero looked up and glanced over at the door.  
  
There in the door was stood Varidia. Her eyes were full of worry and her hand was on her chest (in a fist). "Trowa...." she seemed to whisper. "What happend? Is he going to be ok?" she asked in a shaking voice of worry.  
  
Heero stood up and walked toward her calmly. "I don't know. His injuries are bad." and with that Heero walked out of the room coldly as if he didn't care that the piloet was hurt.  
  
Varidia ran in and sat in the chair that was beside the bed. She took her hand and caressed the left side of his face, and she then made her way down to his hand where she then held it. "Oh Trowa.." she sighed.  
  
' How can I tell you this. How can I tell you I love you. ' she thought and then leaned upon the bed and let used her arm as a pillow. " I know that I havn't known you that long, but I knew that I liked you the first time I set my eyes on you. You can't leave me now....please Trowa? " she whispered that and then closed her eyes and fell asleep, her hand still holding his.  
  
She hadn't slept long, or at least she didn't think she had, when a sound caught her attention. She looked to Trowa and noticed the way Trowa clutched tightly at the bed sheets. ' He must be having a nightmere. ' she thought, "Trowa?" she asked. Trowa then almost then seemed to yell out in pain as if he had been shot.  
  
Varidia grasped him with her hand and shook his arm. "Trowa wake up!" she yelled. "TROWA!" Trowa opened his eyes and sat up. He winced at the pain of his broken ribs. His breathing was deep and sweat was beading off his forehead.  
  
"Trowa...." whispered Varidia. Trowa let his eyes adjust to the light as he then saw Varidia beside him. He removed his hand from hers and swung his legs to the edge of the bed, attemped to get up.  
  
"Trowa, no." Varidia said in a strong voice. "Lay back down, your hurt." Trowa said nothing and went to get up anyway. He stood up but as he did he collaped on the bed.  
  
"See. Sit back down, your still low on blood." Trowa layed back down and just looked in the other direction.  
  
"Trowa, tell me whats wrong. I know that somethings bothering you."  
  
"It's nothing." Trowa said in a cold voice.  
  
'At least he said something.' Varidia thought to herself. "Trowa....I - " He looked over at her. " Don't tell me it's nothing. I hear you. " she lowered her head. "I hear you at night, when your asleep. My room is next to yours. " a tear came to her eye. " I hear you call out. I sometimes watch you, to see if your alright. "  
  
Trowa sat up, whincing at the pain once again and he wiped the tear from her eye. " I asure you, it's nothing. " his voice was so calm, and he then caressed her check. She raised her hand and held it up to her face and overlapped his. "Trowa..." She starred into his cold emerald eyes, hopeing maybe to see some emotion.  
  
"It's 3:00 am. You better get some sleep."  
  
"Right.." she knodded and left the room, glancing back. 


	3. Confusion

Chapter 3: Confusion  
  
Trowa's Point of View : (OK I KNOW THAT TROWA DOESN'T SPEAK BUT HE THINKS...Ok? Put youself in his P.O.V)  
  
My pace was starting to slow down. The pain was starting to get to me. I am a strong fighter, but I just seemed to be getting weak. I couldn't let Heero know that I was hurt, because then how weak would he think I am? He self detinated. But it wasn't the pain, yes it was starting to get to me, but I was then begining to feel even weaker. The last thing that I remember was me grabbing my side and then seeing Heero beside me. And then the next thing I knew I was surrounded by total darkness.  
  
Everything became black. Again a light illuminated me. In front of me, stood that little boy, with a cold expression on his face. He then pointed his finger at something in the black. Something appeared, a little girl. She was crying and was all by herself. She then dissapered and then the boy tore, like a peice of paper and once again merged with the darkness. I stepped back, as some of the memories came back. Again the little girl appeared, her hair a matted light brown and her soul, torn apart. The little girl looked about the age of three, lost, barely even able to stand up. She was crying and suddely I herd a voice. The boys voice. "Run......" it seemed to say, and it echoed through the darkness and I held my head as I felt a throbbing pain, and then I collapsed to my knees. There infront of me was that man, that evil man. Who was he? What did he have to do with my past? I shook my head, and maybe I would wake up. I looked up and the man was gone. But then there was the boy, in the cell. Alone and was rocking to him self. The cell door opened and that man appeared.  
  
Then, I herd a voice in the distance, the picture tearing as eerything went black again. The voice, it sounded so fimilier. Varidia? The next thing I knew, my eyes were open and I was in my bedroom. I sat up, a series of pains crossed my chest. I was breathing hard, it felt that I had ran five hundred miles and the sweat, I felt it pour off my face. I herd my name, a soft voice spoke it. I looked over to my right, where Varidia was. I realized that she had hold of my hand, and I quickly removed it. I needed to get up. Only a weak soilder would stay and rest. I swung my legs to the end of the bed. I went to stand up. Varidia was telling me to stop, but I just ignored her. I stood up and I my head felt fuzzy and my vision went blurry, I almost fell to the bed.  
  
Varidia told me to lay back down, I had to listen to her. What else could I do? I turned my head in the oppiside direction. It's not that I didn't like her, but for her to see me in such poor condition. I am emotionless and I feel nothing. But for some strange reason I feel something for her. Although I do not let it show. Every time I look into her eyes I get this feeling. She spoke. Her voice was soft. She told me that something was bothing me. I lied to her and said that it was nothing. How could I tell her if I can't even understand it myself. It didn't concern her.  
  
"Trowa I - " She paused, I then turned my head toward her. She told me that she hears me at night. I had forgotten that her room was beside mine. It's true, the nightmeres are getting to me. I don't understand anything, nothing makes sence anymore.  
  
I glanced at her, she told me that she worries about me. Since when does she care about me? I've never really spoken to her that much and if I do, I'm my same cold self. I don't care about anyone or anything. I'm not afraid to die, or be killed. Nothing has come in my way since my past. Everything's so blurry, and thats why I fought, to take revenge. Thats when I herd a small breath escape from her mouth. She was worried about me. I took my finger and wiped the tear that had formed in her dull blue eyes. She glaned at me and I asured her that nothing was wrong, and that everything was fine. I caressed the right side of her face and she put hers ontop of mine. What was this feeling that I was getting? I told her that she needed to rest, she left and I laid back down, this time I wanted to go to sleep, I wanted to find out more about my past. 


	4. Words

Chapter 4: Words  
  
"I'm worried Cathrine." said Varidia at the kitchen table. A cup of hot coffee was on the table as she sarred at the center of it.  
  
"About Trowa you mean?"  
  
"Yes. Not just his wounds though." Varidia stopped starring at her mug and starred directly at Cathrine. " Can I ask you something? Since... Since you've known Trowa longer?"  
  
Cathrine smiled, "Well, knowone really knows Trowa. Not even me. But I will try."  
  
Varidia fiddled with her hood ties before looking up. "Do you know anything about Trowa's past?" "no." Cathrine looked down. "But can I ask you a question?"  
  
"sure."  
  
" Why are you so worried about Trowa all of a sudden? " Cathrine Smirked.  
  
Varidia blushed a bit and shook her head, "No...I don't like him........"  
  
Cathrine found it hard not to laugh, " Did I say that you liked him?"  
  
Varidia drew a blank face. A hint of blush could be noticed. She took a sip of her coffee. "Don't tell him.."  
  
"Don't worry." she winked back a Varidia. " He's a hard guy to get through to. The only person that he does talk to is Heero. Maybe Quatre."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So what I'm saying is go ask Heero, if you want to. Or just go ask Relena," she smiled "Heero doesn't seem like the type to talk."  
  
"Right..." Varidia got up and thought. "Where is Quatre?" she asked in a soft tone. "If Im not mistaken, I think he's getting ready to go to dinner with Tiara, not sure."  
  
Varidia rose her eyebrow and let out a short sigh. "Well, ok, I'll just go and ask Relena." She watched as Cathrine took a sip of her coffee and set it back down on the table. Varidia walked away, still deep in thought. She walked up the beatiful stairway. She followed the red carpeting up the the top step. ' Now.... Where's Relena's room ?' she thought as she stood at the stairtop. "I think that it's the one at the end of the hallway... " she whispered to herself. She treaded her way as she past by Trowa's bedroom. The door was open a bit, just enough so that the light slipped into his room and up upon his bed. "Trowa...." she whispered. She opened the door a bit more. It creeked and she froze. It took her a couple of seconds before she moved again, hopeing that it didn't wake him.  
  
She looked at Trowa. He was laying there, clutching the sheets once again. He was tossing his head from side to side. She took another step forward. He muttered something and Varidia listened intensivly. He mubbled it agian, each time getting clearer. ' He's talking in his sleep... ' she thought.  
  
He moved his head to his left, pain filled his face. "Ca- Cathrine!....Don't.......leave....I care about you. " he muttered out. Varidia's eyes opened wide as her heart raced. Not with excitment but with pain. A tear came to her eye and she stepped back.  
  
"No.....But last night......you...." she choked on her breath as her eyes seemed to fill, "I thought you liked....me..." she trailed off and a single tear streamed down her face. She ran out of the room, her tears seeming to follow her. She bent down, her hands around her legs and her head between her knees. She let the tears flow. In between tears she managed to speak, " I just don't.... Understand...." she looked up at the white ceiling and starred through it. "Why ?"  
  
Back in the kitchen Cathrine was finishing up the remaing dishes. She towel dried the last mug and set it carfully into the glass cupbaord. She slowly walked toward the base of the stairs. ' I wonder if she got anything out of Relena..' she thought and rose her hand and dragged it through her soft hair and proceeded up the stairs. Once she had careesed the top. She scanned to her left where she saw Varidia sitting outside Trowa's room. With worry she quickened her pace and knelt down to where Varidia was. "Are you ok ?" she asked holding her hand to Varidia's sholder.  
  
Varidia stopped crying enough so that she could speek. "Why ? " she mumbled. "Why didn't you tell me ? "  
  
Cathrine looked confused and rubbed her hand on Varidia's back. "What do you mean ?" Varidia rose her head, her eyes were tense, her blue eyes were dead, but full of flame. Her eyes narrowed, "Like I need to say anything." she hissed. "Why didn't you tell me that you were with Trowa?" Cathrine looked at her with confusion. "Damnit Why!" she shouted.  
  
"Varidia....I don't - " Varidia cut her off.  
  
"You let me to beleive that he liked me!" she shouted, she stood up and faced Cathrine. Her hands now in fists and her breathing had increase. Cathrine was now stepping back.  
  
"What are you talking about."  
  
"Heh" Varidia said as she shook her head. Her black hair covered her eyes, and her cloths were now messed and her hoody unzipped.  
  
In the bedroom Trowa slowly opened his eyes, ajusting them to the light that came from the door way. He slowly sat up and wiped the sweat from his forhead and calmed his breathing. He winced at the pain. He took his right hand and held the bangages that covered his lower chest. His vision became clear and his hearing acute. He could hear two voices. They too seemed to echo through his head. "Cathrine?" he slid his legs to the side of the bed. He attemped to get up, dispite the pain he took a step. He seemed to be getting better as the wound on his forhead was healed, except for a small scar. He walked over to the door, ' Varidia? ' he thought.  
  
He glanced down at the door way. In the small bit of light that illuminated his feet he saw two shadows. Moving back and forth. He opened the door and there infront of him was Cathrine and Varidia.  
  
Varidia wiped the tears from her face and tucked a bit of her soft black hair behind her ear. She stared at Trowa, her eyes seeming to fill with more tears. Cathrine looked at Trowa with a confused look and then she glanced back at Varidia.  
  
Trowa looked over at Varidia. She looked at her feet and glanced back up. "I...I just..." she closed her eyes tightly and she turned and ran into her room, shutting the door and then hearing a thump.  
  
Trowa looked at Cathirne, "What was that all about?" he asked coldly. Cathrine looked down the hallway and glanced back up at Trowa.  
  
"Don't ask me.." she turned toward him, she smirked, not wanting to worry him. "Now, get back into bed. You'll need to get all the rest that you can. Your big act is comming up soon. It also looks as if your getting better."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Do you want me to get you anything?" Trowa said nothing and just walked back into his room. It was 7:30 pm and he didn't feel tierd. He just felt like sitting on his bed trying to remember, anything. He sat down. Cathrine peered into the room. She placed her hands in her pockets. "Im going to go out tonight. I just need to think some things over." Agian Trowa said nothing. Cathrine walked away and soon the door shut.  
  
In the room down the hall, Tiara and Quatre were getting ready for their date. Tiara heard the shouting, despite the fun that she was having with Quatre. She got up and walked toward the door. Her white dress moved swiftly arccoss the floor as she walked. She turned her head toward Quatre. "I wonder what happend?" she asked as peice of her long blonde hair came out from behind her ear.  
  
Quatre was in front of the mirrior buttoning up his white dress shirt, "I don't know, but I hope everythings alright."  
  
"Me too.." she glanced at the door and then back at Quatre. She smirked at him, "Come with me."  
  
Quatre smirked back and knodded his head and they both proceeded out the door. Quatre shut the door behind him.  
  
Quatre was behind Tiara and watched as he passed Trowa's door, he glanced in on his way by. Tiara had stopped at Varisia's door. She pressed her ear up against it and listened. "Do you hear that?" she asked Quatre. She heard sobbing. She rose her fist up and knocked on it ever so lightly. "Varidia? It's me, Tiara.." she waited and minuite before responding, just incase Varidia had awnsered. Nothing. "Can I come in? I might be able to help.."  
  
Varidia lifted her head off the dampened pillow, and wiped the reamaining tears from her eyes. She stopped crying long enough so that she could speak. "Come....Come in." Tiara opened the door. Seeing her friend upset she rushed over to where Varidia was on the bed. She sat down beside her and put her hand upon Varidia's back. "What's wrong?" Quatre stood in the doorway and watched.  
  
Varidia looked up and once again wiped her face. "I don't....I don't know. I just don't....understand anything....anymore.." she laid her head back into her hands. Tiara rubbed her back with her hand.  
  
"You know that you can tell me whats wrong, and you know that." Tiara said giving Varidia a slight hug. "You'll feel better once you get it all out."  
  
Varidia looked up and took a small breath in between tears. "It's....It's Trowa..." she whispered and turned her head away from Tiara.  
  
Tiara glaced around at Quatre who was listening in and then turned her attension back to Variaida. "What about him?"  
  
Varidia glaced up at her friend. Her eyes were red, and she wiped them down once more. "I.....The other night....I was with him...when he was brought back...." she glaced down at her shoes. " I.....I just got the feeling that he.....might have liked......me....." she trailed off and lowered her head even lower.  
  
Tiara rubbed Varidia's back once again. "What did....he do?" Varidia starred straight.  
  
"I....I don't know..." she then turned her head toward her friend and dropped her eyes. "He....he touched my face...and.."  
  
"I know." Tiara said as she gave Varidia a hug. "But what was it that got you so upset?"  
  
"I....told Cathrine....that I ....liked him..." her voice quiet and shakey. "But then I went upstairs....and past his door..." she looked up at Tiara, tears quickly filled in her now grey eyes. "and?" asked Tiara in a kind voice.  
  
"and....he was mubbling something. So.....so I walked in." she dropped her head into the pillow that was on her lap. She lifted her head up a bit just enough so that she could talk, "He was talking about.....Cathrine and how he....." she looked up, "about how he cared about her...." Tiara's eyes widened and kept listening. She folded the rest of her hair behind her ears and placed her hand back on Varidia's back.  
  
"But....it was the way that he said it........." Varidia said as she tightened her fists. Tiara looked at Varidia and looked down. She then turned her attension to Quatre who was by the door way. She looked into his blue eyes and smirked, "Could you give us a miniute?" Quatre smiled and knodded his head and left the room.  
  
He quietly shut the door and stood there for a second and let out a small sigh. He then walked past Trowa's room. He glanced in the space that the open door had created. He lifted his fist to the door and knocked on it. "Trowa?" he asked in a kind voice. He waited a miniute, nothing was heard. Quatre pushed on the door and opened it and to his surprise he saw Trowa sitting on the bed.  
  
The dying circle of the sun was starting to disapear behind the crags. The sun casted the last of its rays which spread over the horizen.The light shone through Trowa's large windows and the rays illuminated the room, shining on the bed and upon him. The room was dark, the only light, was that which had surrounded him. He was starring forward, seeming to be deep in thought.  
  
Quatre walked to the end of the bed. "Varidia's worried about you." he looked at Trowa. Trowa turned his head to face Quatre, his face now in shadow. Quatre took a small step forward, " You should open up Trowa, your hiding far to many secrets." he paused. " Why, don't you try to talk to someone it may help you sort things out." Quatre's face looked grim out the beond the orange light. A few mintutes of silence past before Trowa broke the silence.  
  
"Quatre, Do you remember your childhood?" he said starring at the floor. Quatre's eyes widened as he looked at Trowa who was now starring directly at him.  
  
"Yes." Quatre's eyes seemed to fill with emotion. "I lived a happy life with my family, until one day when I saw all the pain that war had caused. " he paused and looked at Trowa thoughtfully. "I'll never forget it, even though deep down I wanted to. That day changed my life and it was the main insparaction for me to become a gundam pilot."  
  
Trowa glaced up at Quatre. For a breif second you could see suprise on his face beofore it had vanished completely. "So then you moved on?"  
  
Quatre glaced up at Trowa once more and knodded his head. "Trowa?"  
  
"I can't really remember." he looked into Quatres eyes. "I keep having these dreams, and I can't desifere thair meaning."  
  
"Maybe, if you tell me, I might be able to help you though it." Quatre put his hand on Trowa's sholder.  
  
"I keep seeing this girl." Trowa starred at the floor once again. "She reminds me of Cathrine." Quatre smirked understandingly, "Do you think that this has anything to do with your past?"  
  
"I think that might be it."  
  
Quatre thought to himself for a moment before speaking, "Have you tried talking to Cathrine about this?"  
  
Trowa said nothing and Quatre quietly left the room, letting the heavyarms pilot to think.  
  
Quatre stood outside Trowa's door. His hands were in his pockets and his head down. He heard a noise and looked over toward Varidia's door. There was Tiara. She slowly made her way to Quatre. She smiled, "I think I got her calmed down." Quatre smiled back, "Shall we?" The two made their way down the stairs and out through the door. 


	5. Alone

Chapter 5 : Alone  
  
Heero laid on his bed. Wide awake and starring. His hands lay beside him in the dark. At the end of the room was a desk and on it was his laptop. The white light casted a shadow on all the items in the room.  
  
"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!!" Heero sat up quicky and scanned his cold eyes toward the screen. He got up. He pulled out the chair and sat upon it. He hit enter on the computer, and read what was on the screen. " Mission 004, distroy millitary base in JERA area of point R on LB." he scrolled down, "Deativate missiles on Lunar Base 009." he closed his lap top, his hand still on top. "Mission Accepted."  
  
He got up from the desk and grabbed his jacket and prceeded out. He walked out of his room and stopped at Duo's door. He opened it. Duo was looking out the window. Heero looked stright ahead, down the hall. "We have a mission" he said coldly and with that he walked away.  
  
Duo turned his attension to the now empty doorway. He got up and walked out, he soon met Heero and Wufei in the hanger.  
  
Heero stood at the base of Zero. He rose himself up into it. Wufei, now inside Nataku popped up on Heero's screen. "You and Duo take care of the JERA area. I will deacitive the Lunar Base." and the screen disapeared. Heero starred stright. "Hn."  
  
Duo rose himslelf up into Deathsythe and led the way out. Soon all three gundams had left the hanger.  
  
Back inside the mansion Varidia was still up in her room. She was laying on her bed, the violet sheets rapped around her. One hand was at her side and the other on her chest. She just thought about Trowa. She didn't understand his actions, or Cathrines for that matter. She let out a sigh and swung her legs to the side. She ran her fingers through her short black hair and got up. She walked over to the door, almost tripping on a stuffed cat. She regained her footing and opened the door. She could hear the somber music of the piano. A beautiful tone flowed from it. "Trowa..." she sighed to herself. She made her way down the stairs, now at the base, she peered into the living room, where she saw Trowa playing the piano. She quickly walked past the room and stepped foot into the dinning room.  
  
She opened the fridge door and glared in. She scanned the deli and the drinks. But there was nothing that suited her fancy. She wanted something, or someone. She shut the door and walked accross the wood floor and opened up the cupboard. Still, nothing. She shut it and sighed. She glanced at the wall, toward the living room. Her eyes dropped. She slowly then made her way out of the dining room and was at the side of the stairway. Her head turned to where Trowa was playing the piano and watched him for about a minuite and turned her head.  
  
Trowa finished the somber tune. His eyes were fixed on the keys. He turned his head to his left where he saw Varidia. She took a step up the stairs. Trowa watched her, "Varidia.." She paused and then watched him. Trowa slowly got up from the piano seat, and the pain crossed his chest once again and he grabbed his acheing ribs. He fell back down into the seat. Varidia gasped and looked down. Dipite how much she was upset, she couldn't just leave him there. If something were to happend there'd be no one to help.  
  
She stepped down and walked over to where Trowa was. "Are you ok?" she asked as she held her hand up to her chest.  
  
"I'm fine." He went to get up again, but the pain caresed him. He sat back down. Varidia put her arm around Trowa, waiting for rejection she helped him up. She swung his left arm around her sholders and walked him over to the couch.  
  
She set him down. ' What now...' she thought as her heart raced. ' What if I skrew up.' She looked at the bandages that covered his lower abdomin. She looked at him, his eyes to the floor. "I'll be right back.." and with that she walked over and into the other room. Trowa watched her leave.  
  
Varidia opened the glass cupboad, she was bare foot and on her toes trying to reach for the first aid kit that Heero had. Her hand searched for it, she touched the top of the kit. Her fingers reached and soon found the handle and pulled it out. She walked over to the table, and set the kit infront of her. She unclasped it and pulled out some large bandage wrap and paper tape. She walked back into the living room. She met Trowa's eyes, she blushed and quickly broke the connection and looked down, still walking forward.  
  
She bent down beside him. Still a hint of blush on her face. "I think that those need to be changed..." she said very timidly and pointed at the bandages around Trowa. He said nothing and then took his hands and started undoing them. He winced as he accidentally touched his side.  
  
"I'll help." Varidia said as she reached in and carfully undid the bandages. She put it behind his back and unwrapped it. As each cloth was removed the blue bruising was getting worse. Still looking down she took the old cloth and set it beside her, evoiding eye contact. She grabbed the new cloth and began to wrap it around him, hoping not to cause the pilot any more pain.  
  
Trowa starred at the top of her head, which was now directly infront of him. "There's nothing going on between me and Cathrine." Varidia rose her head making eye contact with him. Her blue eyes met his emerald ones. Her heart raced and her breathing increased. She broke the stare once again, not able to keep the connection. Trowa took his hand and put it to her chin and rose her face up towards his. Now face to face, he closed the few inches that were between them. She felt his soft lips upon hers. Her eyes widened with suprise and her heart was racing. His hand still on her chin. He broke it by raising his lips off hers. She staired into his green eyes and smiled, "Trowa..". She finshed wrapping him up and starred into his eyes once again, this time with more confidence. She smiled at him. She rose herself of the floor and sat beside him on the couch. "Trowa.... I "  
  
Trowa reached up and caressed the right side of her face, her eyes glared into his once more. They closed the space which had formed between them. Their lips met and she placed her arms around his neck carfully. They both fell into a deep, passionite kiss. Trowa's hand slipped to her waist. Soon they parted and Varidia smiled and whispered. "I've....wanted this for a..." she paused and then looked down, "For a long time".  
  
Trowa looked into her soft blue eyes, "So have I".  
  
She laid her head upon his sholder and couldn't believe that she had just kissed him. Her fanticies were now becomming a realitly. She felt his skin benieth her face her eyes slowly closed. Eventually falling into a deep sleep. 


	6. Passion

Chapter 6 : Passion  
  
Varidia's Point of Veiw :  
  
My eyes slowly opened. My eyes shut and then reopened trying to get used to the light of my lamp. I rubbed my eyes, still wet from the tears that had formed before I fell asleep. I removed the voilet sheet that covered my body. I let out a sigh. I just thought about Trowa. Why couldn't I be open and talk to him, like Tiara can with Quatre. Why can't I just ask him about Cathrine, and ask him why he touched my face that night?  
  
I slowly rose my upper torso and swung my legs to the side of the bed. I ran my fingers through my soft hair, letting out a small sigh. I got up and made my way to the door. My room was mess, and my foot hooked on a stuffed cat and I almost fell. But I reagained my footing and opened the door.  
  
I herd this sound. A beautiful slow tune. It filled the house, and filled my ears. "Trowa.." I sighed once again. It was amazing that he could play that well. I can only play the flute, and I'm still a beginner.  
  
I walked down stairs, the soft red carpet tickled my bare feet. I stopped at the bottom. I glanced into the lining room where I saw Trowa, playing the piano, so eaisly, so beautiful. I turned my attension to the dinning room. I forced my self not to think of Trowa. I was still mad at him, and Cathrine. But still my feelings for him hadn't changed at all. My heart still loved him, and it raced everytime I saw him.  
  
I quickly made my way from the stairs to the dining room in a matter of seconds. I calmly walked over to the fridge. I opened it with my right hand as I felt the cool air flow from it and hit my feet. I scanned the meats, I scanned the drinks and the rest of Quatre's cooking. Still nothing was there that I wanted. I shut the door, as I turned my head to wall where Trowa would be on the other side. I looked away, still upset, with him as well as myself. I walked out of the room and stopped at the side of the stair way. I looked at him. His eyes were so concintrated about playing and his fingers seemed to flow accross the keys. I turned my head again, pushing my feelings back, I needed to be strong. I took a step up the stairs.  
  
"Varidia.."  
  
Was that Trowa? Did he say my name? I scanned over to him where he was attempting to get up. I watched as he moved, he bent a bit trying to get up, he grabbed his broken ribs and sat back down. I froze, what was I to do? Was I supossed to help him? I felt my heart race, my thoughts became jumbled as I walked over to where he was. I asked him if he was ok. He spoke, he told me that he was fine.  
  
I then attemped the unthinkable. I bent down a bit and put my hand around his waist and his left arm over my sholders. I waited for rejection. Nothing. I smiled as my nervousness seemed to disapear for a moment, but then quickly returned when I realized that he was by me, his body almost touching mine. ' He's tall... ' I thought to myself as I set him down on the couch. He still said nothing. I scanned at the cloth that was wrapped around him. It was grey and blood stained. I thought that he might need them changed. This would be a great opertunity to talk to him, about Cathrine, about everything that was making me so confused.  
  
I told him that I would be right back and I walked over and into the kitchen, I opened the glass cupboard. I rose onto my toes as my hand reached for the kit. I knew it was there but I couldn't feel it. Soon my hand found it. I tugged on it and took it out of the cupboard and set it on the table. I unclasped it. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for but I knew how to use first aid. I found large cloth wrapping and tape. I brought it out to him. I felt his eyes match mine. I got this feeling. It felt so good. My heart raced and raced untill I broke the connection. I bent down beside him and told him that the cloth needed to be changed. I waited not sure of what his reaction would be. He said nothing and then just started to unwrap the cloth. His right arm touched his side and he winced.  
  
"I'll help." I said as I started to unwrap him. Was I few inches from his chest? Was I accually close to him? It felt as if my heart would stop. He was calm, why couldn't I be. I herd his deep, soft voice speak. He said that there was nothing going on between him and Cathrine. I was shocked. I looked up at him. Our eyes connected again. This time I couldn't take the presure. I looked away. I starred down at his chest, my eyes wide open woundering what would come next. I felt his strong hand upon my chin, I looked up at him, starring into his dark green cores. He pulled my face closer. I still starred at him, he closed the space that was between us. I felt his soft lips caress mine and my eyes widened. Was this a dream? Were his lips on mine? He lifted off of me. I once again starred into his cores.  
  
"Trowa.." I whipered and I began to finish wrapping him. I finished the last wrap and taped it. Again I felt his strong hand, this time caress the right side of my face. It felt as if I couldn't take a breath. This time we both closed the space between us. We both melted into a sweet, passionite Kiss. I carfully put my arms around his sholders, that was when I felt his large hand slip to my waist. I broke away from him and smiled.  
  
"I've wanted this...for....a" I paused, "For a long time." He looked right back at me.  
  
"So did I."  
  
I smiled and laid my head on his chest, I could feel his skin benieth mine. My eyes slowly closed and before I knew it I was fast asleep.  
  
End of P.O.V  
  
The mansion door opened and two figures appeared. Quatre had his hand around Tiara, makeing light, short kisses to one another. Tiara giggled and set the large packages of outfits that Quatre had bought her beside her. Quatre had her agaisnt the wall, both of them haveing fun.  
  
"Quatre!" she giggled, "Stop. Not here what if someone sees?" Quatre just continued to kiss her. Tiara looked into the living room and gasped. "Quatre! look" as she pointed toward the couch.  
  
There on the couch was Trowa and Varidia. Varidia had her head upon his chest. Tiara smiled, "Thats so cute. Im glad that they got together." she turned her head toward Quatre. "Come on," she winked, "Lets go up stairs."  
  
And with that Quatre grabbed Tiara. He put his hands undernieth her knees, holding her up. Tiara giggled happily as Quatre proceeded up the stairs.  
  
Quatre opened the bedroom door and set Tiara on the bed. She smiled at him. He bent down and kissed her on the lips and she grabbed him and pulled him down on top of her. Quatre reached out, his fingers looking for the lamp switch. They found it and he turned off the light. 


End file.
